And in the End You Begin Again Tumblr

➵ Pairing: dad!taehyung x mom!reader

➵  Genre: angst, fluff, domestic, slice of life, exes au, dull burn down, eventual smut

➵ Warnings: stiff linguistic communication, mature content.

➵ Word count: 7k

➵ Summary: afterwards months of tension and conflict, you decide to put an end to your human relationship with Taehyung, your fiancé and the father of your kids. Even so, information technology'south not all smooth sailing from there. Y'all now face many challenges such as co-parenting and learning to adapt to this new chapter of your life. And as time goes on, you're left wondering, did you make the right choice?

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Growing up, you always loved watching those sappy romance movies, always dreaming of the day you would get to experience a dear similar that— though if you lot were honest, you never actually believed such things could happen in existent life. At least, non to y'all.

That was until you met Taehyung.

You met Taehyung when you lot turned nineteen and moved to Seoul with your mother. It was thanks to your long term friend, Jimin, who had moved there simply a few years prior and had already became close friends with him. When you arrived, he had been quick in talking to y'all most Taehyung, insisting you should meet him and that you ii would go forth actually well. It wouldn't exercise you any damage to meet new people and make friends anyway, considering y'all had simply moved and knew nobody— so, naturally you agreed.

But what you hadn't expected was Taehyung to be then strikingly beautiful. Tall, flawless golden skin paired with sharp and symmetrical features, yet somehow still immature and boyish looking. Fluffy brownish hair that gave you the irresistible urge to run your hands through information technology, falling perfectly over dark, prominent brows. Y'all still remember the shiver y'all felt down your spine when yous offset looked in his dark intimidating eyes, a burning stare you swore could pierce straight through your soul. But concluded up taken aback instantly when he greeted you with a radiantly warm smiling, his gaze turning much softer and gentle, near angelic. Making collywobbles swarm your stomach in a way you'd never felt earlier. And it was then, you lot became sure you'd never set eyes on a more captivating human.

You lot quickly came to realize Jimin wasn't wrong, you lot both clicked right away and had an about instant connection that night. And later on hanging out multiple times afterwards, you before long realized yous liked Taehyung for so much more than just his handsome face. He was the nearly charming and loving person you lot had always met, in every sense. And to your amazement, Taehyung had fallen for you just every bit hard. Therefore, merely four months down the line, you lot were already in an official human relationship.

Dating Taehyung had been like something out of those sappy movies you had and so passionately grown to hate, but even amend. You were both drowning in beloved — so irreparably lovesick to the point you became inseparable, spending every free moment y'all had together. But so, merely two years into your flourishing human relationship, yous were surprised with hugely unexpected news.

You were pregnant.

Information technology had come as an immense shock to you both. You had cried yourself to sleep the unabridged dark earlier telling your boyfriend, unsure of what his reaction would be. You were still so young and unprepared. Just despite the initial shock, Taehyung was nil but loving and supportive, more than you could take e'er imagined. Reassuring you everything would work out, and that he would never leave your side, not over this. Not over anything. And promised he would be with yous every step of the way.

But naturally, y'all were scared, equally was Taehyung. As opposed to you, what scared him most was breaking the news to his parents. He knew they wouldn't be happy almost the fact their unmarried son was going to be a father at merely twenty 2. But particularly, what would carp them near was that it was you who he was having a kid with.

Taehyung's parents had never directly been mean to you, or rude per se. But it was obvious that they were not too addicted of yous either, never really viewed you every bit the person their son would finish upward marrying and spending the residual of his life with— always thought he could do meliorate. They just viewed you as a meaningless girlfriend, one he would somewhen part ways with to observe a meliorate daughter to marry and settle downward with. Preferably from a rich family.

You would never admit it out loud, but information technology hurt you lot much more than you lot ever allow on. It was clear that they would never fully accept you lot. Taehyung knew that too.

Breaking the news to them was worse than you lot both could have anticipated. Taehyung's father was furious, threatened he would kick him out of the family unit business concern unless he left y'all. His mother cried for hours telling him he had ruined his life. That his reckless actions now not only gave him, only his entire family a terrible epitome.

Taehyung had always tried his best to keep his parents happy. Had even given upwardly his own dreams to work for his father'southward company instead. To follow in his footsteps, merely how he'd always been expected to. He did annihilation to please them and make them proud. But information technology came with farthermost hurt when he realized information technology was all for nothing. That going to be a father to a kid somehow made him dishonorable in his family'due south eyes.

Past the time your baby daughter was built-in, things had blown over. She was perfect. You both roughshod so in love with her. She brought a new sense of joy to your lives that you'd never experienced earlier. And your bond and relationship with Taehyung but grew stronger. Y'all moved into your new home together and were and so happy. You loved your little family.

Taehyung's begetter kept nagging at him to suggest to y'all, going on nearly how existence single at present that the baby was born was extremely detrimental to the family'south image. His father had finally come to terms with the fact that he near probable wasn't going to get out you lot, not at present that you lot had a child together. And then he had no other option simply to accept information technology.

However, Taehyung didn't want to propose but because it felt like an obligation, considering his father and everyone effectually him expected him to. He wanted to do it on his ain terms. Yous both knew y'all loved each other and never felt the need to get married right away to bear witness information technology.

Almost a year subsequently, Taehyung proposed to you. Y'all didn't make plans to get married right away, life was far too busy with both of you working total fourth dimension jobs and taking intendance of your daughter, so you put it off until you could find some time to showtime fit it in and brainstorm planning for it, there was no rush.

Nonetheless, just some other twelvemonth afterwards, you lot found out you were pregnant again. It was as much of a surprise as it was the starting time fourth dimension. At the time you found out, your relationship with Taehyung wasn't as amazing and wonderful as it had been before. You both argued a lot more. Didn't go to spend as much fourth dimension together considering of Taehyung's extremely busy schedule — which only led to more falling outs. All the same y'all were both happy about the news and excited to expand the family unit yous fabricated together.

Things betwixt yous got a fleck meliorate later finding out the news, merely throughout the pregnancy you lot would however argue, and it only became more than consistent over fourth dimension. You secretly just blamed it on the crazy hormones. That they were probably the reason why you were always and then moody and sensitive, and more than probable overreacting.

The truth was you just didn't want to face the fact that your relationship with Taehyung was starting to crumble. Especially not when you lot were expecting your second child together. So you would put the thoughts away, hoping information technology would all get better with time and once the baby arrived.

It never did.

Months after your 2nd babe was built-in, and after half-dozen years of being together, things were far worse than y'all always expected.

"Look at me when I'thou talking to yous!" Your voice echoes in a drastic plea from where you stand beyond from Taehyung, who's sitting at the border of your bed, seemingly paying more than attention to whatever he's looking at on his phone than to the words you yell at him.

Letting out a deep exhale, yous already feel a well known frustration fiercely growing due to his irritating antics and indifference. Deciding so to shut the bedchamber door backside yous earlier your voices go whatsoever louder— knowing already they definitely will.

"I already told you I was busy catching up on some work y/n, I lost rails of time alright!" Taehyung finally snaps, tone harsh and brows furrowed in annoyance as he throws his phone onto the bed behind him, non really caring where it lands.

Y'all scoff humorously as he fixes you with a cold glare. "Of course you did, Information technology'southward everwork with yous."

"Are y'all being serious? All of this shit, because I forgot to call y'all," he sneers, shaking his head before pushing a hand through his nighttime locks.

Yous blink bemusedly at his tone, reeling back at the fact he has the audacity to be pissed off at y'all.

Unbelievable.

It's a Monday night, and yous're well aware Monday's mean he works until later than usual. Would rarely ever be home earlier ix, sometimes only just making information technology back in time to say goodnight to your kids. It wasn't surprising. Simply naturally, you had grown worried when you checked the time, only to realize it had run way past that time and you lot hadn't even received a unmarried text or call from him.

Still, when he finally stepped through the door of your domicile just half an hr ago, yous were furious. Seething at how he hadn't even cared in the least to let you know of his whereabouts, and had instead left y'all up worrying and wondering if something had happened to him on the way dwelling. But it's not like your pride would allow yous to admit that part though.

"What- so yous remember this is okay? It'due south almost one the morning and you just got back!" you lot debate, fists clenched tightly at your sides as y'all accept a stride towards him— adamant on standing your ground. But he doesn't react. Simply stares right dorsum, shooting daggers at you through his dark eyes. "The least you could do is text me and let me know!"

"So what? All of a sudden you lot act like you care?" He scoffs, shaking his head as he turns away, walking over to toss his previously discarded necktie on the dresser. "I don't understand you."

What you want to say is that you really don't fucking care, but you're not sure it would audio convincing. And then you seize with teeth your tongue on that.

"What is it that you lot don't understand, huh?" your patience is now running sparse, that's if you even have whatever left in y'all at all. Though it's naught new. You've long go accustomed to feeling this way around him. "Please tell me what'south so fucking hard to sympathise about what I'm proverb!"

"Keep your phonation down y'all're going to wake up the kids," he grimaces through gritted teeth. Trying not to raise his vocalism more than necessary, only from the looks of it he'south struggling equally much as you.

He really has the nerve,God.

"You say that like you weren't shouting just minutes agone!"

"Y'all're the ane screaming always since I set foot through that damn door," he gestures angrily, pointing an accusatory finger at yous, muttering a expletive under his jiff every bit he turns abroad.

Living with Taehyung has become a living nightmare, putting information technology lightly.

For months now it's like all you lot know to practise is fight over the stupidest things. It couldn't be helped, almost every conversation, no matter how insignificant always somehow led to a fight.

Pocket-size, little arguments always spiraling into something much bigger. Leaving you both bitter towards each other for days, sometimes not even exchanging a single word during an entire day — creating a tense atmosphere in your home that was capable of having anyone on edge.

Y'all don't fifty-fifty human activity like a couple anymore. You've turned into mere strangers living under the same roof, ignoring the fact that your human relationship is on the rocks. But it'southward just getting harder and harder to ignore.

"You know what-, I'grand so fucking tired Taehyung," you lot exasperate, brushing your pilus back brashly, the loose strands falling in front of your eyes only irritating you further.

Taehyung remains silent, his jaw clenched tightly and his dark eyes simmering with rage. Information technology's not the start time he's heard this.

"I'g tired of this- all you do is work, and when you're non working, this is what we're doing!" Your concluding drop of patience evaporates into thin air, and you're forced to swallow the sudden lump forming in your pharynx. "Fuck, I-I'm and then tired-"

Why exercise you have to get emotional right at present?

"I'thou and then done with this. It tin't keep up. Can't you see it?" You weep out, "god, Taehyung I tin't fucking stand up you anymore!"

You of a sudden experience choked upwards, your throat tight every bit you try difficult to fight away the rising tears in your eyes. And maybe information technology isn't solely out of acrimony this time, but all the pent upward emotions you've been burying nether the surface — non wanting to testify Taehyung how hurt you lot truly were, how much your crumbling relationship was truly affecting you and had been for months now.

You are exhausted. In every sense — mentally, physically and emotionally. The abiding conflict with the man definitely took a toll on you. Information technology sucked all energy correct out of you on a daily footing. The little energy you lot fifty-fifty had left to keep this going. And lately information technology really had you lot thinking — why do you nonetheless keeping it going?

But just a moment later you lot see Taehyung'due south scowl disappear, his features softening significantly as he glances backside you towards the now open up door of your bedroom. And for a split second you recall your words stung him, and you're surprised since he never seems fazed.

But when his eyes grow wider and y'all plow effectually…

Your centre sinks instantly at the sight of your 3 year old daughter standing in the doorway with tears rolling down her cheeks. She's holding her favorite little tiger plushie Taehyung bought for her as a babe tightly under her arm, rubbing her eye with the sleeve of her wrinkly pinkish pajamas.

She looks up at you lot both doubtfully with large glossy eyes. Letting out a small sob every bit her parents eyes finally land on her.

You're momentarily frozen in your spot, not expecting the image before you. You had both been then immersed in the arguing yous didn't fifty-fifty hear the door opening.

How long had she been there? How much had she heard? Oh god.

You lot feel your breadbasket drop as a wave of anxiety quickly swallows you and before you have time to react, Taehyung glares at yous disdainfully before brushing past you lot as he quickly walks towards his daughter, crouching down to her level.

"Eunah, what's wrong infant?" he picks her upwardly immediately, wrapping her small-scale frame up in his arms and belongings her tightly to his breast — her tears dampening the soft material of his obviously white t-shirt but he doesn't heed.

"Did mommy and daddy wake you?" he whispers, his vox at present soft and gentle— the complete opposite of what it had been just minutes agone. He wipes her tears abroad with his thumb and tilts his head to go a better look at the girl's face, but she just nuzzles into the cheat of his neck and nods in response. Wrapping her small arms tightly around his neck.

The sight causes your center to ache, actual physical pain shooting to your chest. It's plenty to reduce you to tears. But yous won't weep — non at present, non in front of her.

You feel awful. No, you feel like shit. An unbearable corporeality of guilt and hurt taking over your body.

What kind of a female parent were you? One that made her children weep? You hated knowing you were the reason your daughter was upset, that yous had disrupted her when she should exist peacefully sleeping. The way she was when you lot kissed her goodnight later reading her to sleep.

You feel angry at yourself for not being more than careful. For not controlling your emotions better. Aroused at Taehyung, for making you so furious. Why did you allow him to rile you upwards to such extent every single time?

"We're deplorable baby. It's okay, daddy's got you," he places multiple kisses on her messy bedhead, rubbing her back soothingly in hopes of settling her.

He shoots you a expect at you for a moment. and you know exactly what that expect means. Information technology's an "I told you so" of sorts. Of course hewants to pin the blame on you now. It'southward always your fault. Merely y'all're not going to let him blame you for this. Not when he's just as guilty every bit you.

You refuse to watch the sight before you any longer — can't bear listening to her sorrowful cries. You need to hold your baby. Condolement her and make her feel ameliorate once more.

"Hither give her to me," you tell him and he carefully hands her over to you lot. The small girl doesn't mutter, just snuggles right into you, taking in your familiar scent as you sit down on the bed, property her in your arms.

"Eunah, sweetheart. I'grand sad, we didn't hateful to wake yous up."

Y'all place kisses on her soft tear stained cheeks equally she looks upwards at you, and god, how you wish she didn't. You bite your lip in club to hold dorsum the tears that are now set up to burst out of you. Her glassy eyes, withal shedding tears and quivering lips looking straight at yous are enough to make your heart shatter into even tinier pieces. You pull her back towards your chest once more, resting your chin on her head before planting kiss after kiss on her silky hair.

She cries quietly in your arms, bitter on her thumb. She had a habit of doing so whenever she'due south upset or crying and you and Taehyung have been trying so difficult to get her to cease. Ever telling her she had to intermission the habit because she was at present a big girl. Just right at present, you let information technology.

Taehyung stands to the side, eyes fixated on his girl with a defeated look on his face. Y'all know he's feeling but equally guilty equally you are. He hates seeing his baby upset like this.

You feel the mattress dip beneath yous as he sits on the bed with a heavy sigh, keeping some distance betwixt you both.

There is definitely an uncomfortable sense of tension in the air. Like you're both silently blaming each other for the electric current situation you find yourselves in. Wanting to speak up and say things simply knowing better than to make the situation worse by further disrupting your child. Obviously neither of you desire that. So for the moment, you both ignore whatsoever is lingering and focus on what matters most,. Which is the little girl currently wrapped up in your arms.

Every bit presently every bit she takes notice of her dad sitting close by, she reaches out for him with grabby hands, whining to get his attention.

You don't want to let her become. Non until you know for a fact she'south alright. And you know it'southward stupid, but it hurts a trivial that she tries to get out of your comprehend. But plainly, y'all aren't going to take information technology personally. She hasn't seen him for the whole day. Not even before bed like she is used to. And you lot know she has been missed him because she told you so all twenty-four hours. She's always been a daddy'due south daughter later all.

You hand her back over and he embraces her in his arms in one case again, rocking her gently as she cries, more just repose sobs and hiccups than actual tears now.

"Yah," he coos, "baby, why are you nevertheless crying? It'due south okay, everything is okay." Taehyung lets out a little forced chuckle in an attempt to lighten the mood every bit he bounces her gently in his arms, wanting nothing more than to see her little smile and hear her giggle the manner she ever does.

Eunah is a strong little girl, fifty-fifty at just three years old. She has and so much personality. She's loud, bubbly and sometimes a piffling too sassy. She wasn't one to let anyone boss her around, that's for sure— which could brand her difficult at times. Only she could also be very sensitive and emotional. Always caring for those around her.

"You and mommy angry," she says with a frown, her voice pocket-sized and soft as she pokes her father's chest with her small-scale chubby finger. Making him stiffen. His now slight panicked expression giving away that he was not expecting those words from her. He opens his mouth, then speedily closes it, not knowing what to say.

"Infant, mommy and daddy were just talking a scrap loudly," you bound in, reaching for her little arm and giving it a gentle clasp. You blench at yourself for lying to her, and for saying just a pathetic lie at that. Your daughter is three, but she definitely isn't stupid.

"Don't like it." she mumbles.

Information technology injure. Felt like a jab to your already agonized heart.

You squeeze her hand a piffling tighter. Belongings it shut and placing a kiss on it.

"I know baby. We're sorry."

It isn't until after a few long minutes of Taehyung quietly comforting her, she finally stops her tears. Her eyes globe-trotting close as she fought to stay awake.

"Come on, let's get you back to bed," he whispers, continuing upwardly slowly with the girl in his artillery, trying not to startle her.

"No!" she cries, suddenly awake and alert, shaking her head vigorously whilst still hiccupping a little from her sobs. She reaches out for you lot with her arms, and you immediately stand, belongings her small easily in yours again while giving her a reassuring smile. Ignoring how the proximity to Taehyung makes you feel unsettled.

He tilts his caput to look at her. "What, why not? I know you're sleepy," he says, his vox gentle.

"Sleep hither," she pouts, pointing over her fathers shoulder to your bed.

Y'all certainly didn't program on sharing the bed with Taehyung tonight. Especially not after everything that happened today. You were however pissed off. Sure, Eunah walking in had definitely shaken you both up, making y'all come back to your senses a bit and cease arguing. For her sake mostly. But the truth is, that if that had non happened you would both more probable still be in each other's faces, shouting anything merely kind words.

Simply if it means your daughter will exist happy then you can bring yourself to practise it, especially after upsetting her similar that. She needs condolement and you are going to give her only that. You lot want her to feel safe and loved, non upset and scared the way she was but before.

Y'all give Taehyung a unimposing nod, letting him know that information technology's okay.

"Okay and so, you tin sleep with usa tonight. But just tonight, okay?" he kisses her nose, finally making her giggle equally she nods, her puffy eyes turning into footling crescent moons and her niggling boxy grin she definitely got from her male parent lights upward her face.

You experience relief when you finally hear her laugh over again. To see her unabridged confront light upwards with joy every bit she excitedly throws her arms around her father's neck, jumping in excitement.

Where did she fifty-fifty get all the sudden energy from? You lot always find it amusing only how quickly the mood of a iii year erstwhile can change, making you lot unconsciously grin.

If anything could bring a genuine smile to your face these days, it was definitely your babies.

Taehyung puts her downward on the bed and she quickly crawls her style under the covers, snuggling her stuffed animal. He gets in abreast her, wrapping his arms around her and she nuzzles her confront into his chest. He strokes her temple close to her hairline in soothing little circles, something he always did to assist her sleep e'er since she was only a small infant. It never failed.

"Mommy?" her pocket-sized vocalism brakes the silence in the room, pulling yous from your thoughts. "Mommy, come here with me." she pleads, patting the empty space next to her and looking at you expectantly with her big brownish eyes.

Taehyung tilts his caput, gesturing to your empty side of the bed, as if telling you to just do information technology, for her sake. And y'all would, you would do anything for her to be happy. Simply you hated pretending, Having to pretend everything was okay. That you lot and Taehyung were happy. Because yous both knew that you were far from it. You could no longer hide and put abroad your feelings as well as you did when information technology had all begun.

You would practise annihilation for your daughter, anything for your kids. You would do anything to see her smile brightly in that way of hers that made everyone's heart melt. But you simply wish y'all didn't have to pretend. That you lot wouldn't accept to fake smiles at your partner in order to keep her happy. Y'all wish you could find happiness in the thought of spending the night cuddled up side by side to her and Taehyung, the way you once did. But right now, the thought of existence anywhere near Taehyung merely made your heart anguish. It fabricated yous experience then cold within. You hated beingness reminded of how much you had grown apart from the human you once adored.

Y'all can't be so shut to Taehyung right now. You lot can't, It's too much. You need some time to yourself.

"I'thou going to cheque on your blood brother showtime and make sure he's okay. I'll be back soon, try to slumber okay baby? I honey you." You place a buss on her forehead and she simply nods, getting comfortable in her male parent'south arms. Luckily, sleepiness seems to take over quickly plenty and her eyes flutter shut.

Y'all brand your way down the corridor and walk into the next room. Information technology's dark, nothing just the footling amount of light coming through the cleft of the partly opened door illuminating the small space.

Y'all walk over to the crib at the back of the room. You look over it, finding your 7 calendar month old son sleeping peacefully. How he hadn't woken up is beyond you but y'all're just thankful he didn't. He had finally settled into a good sleeping pattern, hardly waking upward during the dark anymore, which had resulted in him being much happier during the twenty-four hour period.

Y'all lookout him fondly, reaching out to caress his cheek with the dorsum of your finger. He is so beautiful. Soft chubby cheeks, small pouty lips and long lashes. And then small and innocent.

You lot suddenly experience a pang of guilt arising in your chest.

He doesn't deserve this. Eunah doesn't deserve this. You think back to the moment you first institute out y'all were going to be a female parent. You promised yourself so y'all would always brand sure your niggling ones were happy. That naught would ever take that away from them. Yous wanted them to grow upwards in a loving household, unlike you had. Y'all know better than anyone what information technology felt similar to grow up in that kind of surroundings.

And correct now, you wouldn't specially call your home a loving household. Eunah and Minjun were unquestionably loved. If there was anything at all you and Taehyung still had in common, still shared, it was the honey for those children. You lot loved them more than annihilation else, as did their father. There was no doubt about that.

The problem was with you and Taehyung. You 2 where the ones lacking love from each other.

Y'all walk over to the other side of the room and back up against the wall, you slide downwards until you're sat on the wooden floor. You bring your knees to your breast and wrap your artillery tightly around your legs. Yous feel the tears well up in your eyes again with a huge urge to intermission downward, so this time y'all finally permit go, feeling the tears you had been holding back finally roll downward your cheeks and yous sniffle into your hand, trying to muffle any sound.

You reached your breaking point, it was inevitable, right? There's but then much you could take before you broke down. And today was enough to send you over your limit.

When had things gone so wrong? When did you lot and Taehyung stop being happy with one another? To the betoken your children were getting hurt because of it?

You both ever tried your best to avert fighting in front of Eunah and Minjun. Generally now that your daughter was old enough to somewhat understand what was beingness said and option up on things a lot easier than before.

Merely with how often yous fought, no matter how hard you tried not to. She inevitably caught on a couple of times. Looking at the both of y'all with a frown and big puppy eyes until you would notice her, and immediately end. Reassuring her that everything was fine, only this time. It didn't feel fine.

Even Minjun as a small infant could sense the tension between the both of you lot. Sometimes he would be happy the unabridged twenty-four hour period, but as before long as Taehyung got back from piece of work. His mood would shift. You always felt tense and stressed effectually the man. And y'all were almost certain Minjun would pick up on it and it was the reason for his sudden crying and modify in beliefs.

He was simply seven months sometime but in his short life you weren't sure if he'd ever witnessed love and affection between his parents. Maybe the mean solar day he was born, and a few weeks later on that, but and so information technology vanished for good.

You nonetheless recall the happiness you felt that day. The love y'all felt for the man that stood abreast your hospital bed, holding your mitt tightly the entire fourth dimension and whispering comforting and loving words in your ear, kissing you lot and telling you how much he loved you.

Things take changed a lot since and then. Information technology was only seven months agone. Withal it feels like a lifetime since y'all felt that kind of joy or beloved. You lot struggled to picture the man on the other side of the wall as the Taehyung yous had fallen so madly in love with — the same Taehyung you'd met all those years agone and that used to brand you feel similar the happiest girl on the planet.

Nowadays y'all merely feel and so…incompatible.

Yous replay every statement, every harsh discussion exchanged and every unkind gesture in your head. Filling your listen with questions and thoughts.

Do you even love him? Does he love you? Maybe the honey was gone. Information technology happened to people all the time. So surely information technology could've happened to you lot. Right?

Perchance you grew apart? Had grown to dislike each other. Everything you said to one another just seemed to be said with the intention to annoy or hurt, to spite the other until they exploded.

All you know is that whatsoever the reason may be, it doesn't change the fact that your human relationship is not salubrious anymore. For anyone. Only growing more unpleasant with time.

Your raging thoughts merely fuel feelings of anger, disappointment and shame, making your eyes sting with new unshed tears, your chest feeling tight as yous endeavour to remain silent.

You throw your head dorsum against the wall, tears violently pouring downwards your confront. And then y'all determine right then and there. Enough is enough.

Well-nigh forty minutes passed still you remained in the same spot, not actually wanting to become back to where Taehyung was. Yous feel wrong for not going back to your girl, but yous know she was too exhausted to even discover your absence.

You needed infinite. Specifically from him.

Just that'south when y'all hear footsteps getting closer in the corridor.

"Eunah is comatose at present, you can go to bed. I'll sleep on the sofa." came Taehyung's deep vocalism.

It wasn't rare for him to do so. Most nights y'all would exist so pissed off at each other you couldn't stand spending the night in the same room — or the same bed.

You lot await upward from your cooped up position to face his towering figure as he leans against the door. Dammit. Tin can't he just exit yous alone? You thought he would be asleep by at present.

You quickly wipe away your tears, faking a cough in an attempt to clear your throat. You don't want to speak, don't want him to know you've been crying.

"No, stay in the room with her. She will be upset if she wakes up and you're not there." you manage. If he notices the strain in your phonation he doesn't show it. He just sighs deeply, taking a look around the room, as if information technology would help him out with what to say. Somewhen, he settles his gaze back on you lot.

"Well, what are you doing there on the floor? Go to bed." he says flatly after seconds of silence.

Yous remain quiet. Merely hoping he would go away, you lot didn't want to be close to him right now. It felt…strange. Nearly bad-mannered.

But he doesn't exit. You can see he's hesitant, but walks into the room anyway, going upwardly to your sons crib. He leans over it, checking on Minjun, gently pushing some of his hair to the side and away from his optics.

He seems like he calmed down from your previous argument only a while ago, but the tension is yet very much present. The words y'all said still linger in your mind.

"So are nosotros merely going to ignore what happened?" you lot question, deciding to interruption the silence in the room to vocalisation your idea.

A strained silence follows. He doesn't say anything, but you notice the way his body tenses at the words and how he averts his gaze elsewhere, avoiding yours.

"Tae-taehyung," y'all take a deep jiff, feeling your heart all of a sudden chirapsia a lot faster than earlier. The room is so silent you are afraid he might hear it. "I tin can't do this anymore." You lot finally look upward at him, struggling to make out his expression in the barely lit room.

Yous have to do information technology. Why postpone it any longer?

He takes a step dorsum, turning to face you. "What practise y'all hateful?" he asks, a slight furrow to his forehead. Even though you know he knows exactly what you mean.

"This can't proceed, it'south hurting them," You bite your lower lip, hoping it would terminate information technology's sudden trembling.

He sighs, running a hand through his dark locks as he takes a seat on the nursing chair adjacent to Minjun's crib, correct across from you. He rests his elbows on his knees and covers his face with his palms as he rubs his confront. He looks caught up in his thoughts. But you tin't tell what he's thinking. You can't read him like you used to. Not anymore.

"I know-" he begins, finally revealing his face. But his gaze stays fixated on the footing.

"No, I'm serious. Information technology has to terminate," you cut him off. Trying to talk equally quietly as you can as to not wake your infant in the room.

"We…need to separate. I don't call up nosotros should be together anymore." you say, and yous detest the manner your voice shakes near the terminate. The way y'all must look so vulnerable and weak.

Taehyung looks slightly taken aback by your argument, sitting up direct and lifting his gaze to look in your management.

He let out a blatant chuckle "What, are you serious?" he speaks quietly, and you catch the hint of amusement in his tone. Only making acrimony slowly arise in you again. Why couldn't he but take you seriously?

But you lot decide to ignore it. Biting the within of your cheek.

"It's what'southward best for them. And for us." You state. Not daring to expect him in the face. Your eyes landing on your band finger. The shiny diamond staring back at you almost tauntingly and you take to pull your sleeve over it.

He stands from the chair. "Look, I'k too tired to bargain with-"

"No, Taehyung. Mind to me! I am sick and tired of this! Nosotros tin can't merely keep ignoring what'due south happening. This has to end." y'all say, jumping to your anxiety.

You feel yourself getting very agitated again. Your body starts to shake, only you're not sure if it'southward from anger or nerves. Probably both. You lot just desire to get this over with. You lot have to.

Fuck. Where was all this sudden courage even coming from? You're shocked. In a mode, y'all are grateful for information technology. You lot're taking it as a sign. You never saw yourself capable of doing this. To finally put an cease to this…misery. Never felt brave plenty, maybe. But you lot had to. It needed to be washed. It's never been more than clear to y'all than at this moment.

For Eunah and Minjun, for yourself…and for Taehyung himself even.

It had to end. You couldn't keep tiptoeing around each other all the time, hoping the other wouldn't lash out over something. Arguing every single twenty-four hour period. It had been going on for too long . Taehyung always came dorsum from work stressed and tired, all the same cold and distant from whatever previous dispute you had. You don't desire to cry yourself to sleep anymore, wondering if things will e'er turn back to the way they were. In a bed side by side to a man that now felt like a stranger.

You lot can't fifty-fifty remember the last time you kissed, the concluding fourth dimension you touched each other, made love, roughshod comatose in each other'south arms. You can't retrieve the last time you had a nice conversation together, laughed until you were both in tears, stayed up watching movies until you barbarous asleep and he would carry you to bed.

You'd be lying if you said it didn't hurt. To just watch your relationship crumble before your optics. Burn and turn to ashes that would soon blow away. That'south why you lot put it off from the get-go, ignoring it until it would go away somehow.

You're not going to ignore it a infinitesimal longer.

"You don't think I'chiliad tired as well?" he replies, his tone harsh.

"Well so! That's it. I'm glad we agree. Since yous're and so fucking tired let's stop this." yous let out, your voice coming out louder than you intended due to your annoyance. And you instantly regret it when Minjun shifts and squirms a picayune at the noise, letting out a pocket-size whimper. And oh my god. Are you seriously going to do it once more?

You lot both dart your eyes over to his crib almost simultaneously, staying every bit silent as possible. And luckily, he doesn't wake upwards.

"You're fucking unbelievable," Taehyung hisses. And you lot storm out of the room heading towards the living space, new tears chock in your eyes once again.

It wasn't smart to kickoff that give-and-take in his room in the first identify, not when you lot know how easily and how quickly you lose control of your temper with the man. But you can't help simply experience miserable about how you almost ended up waking upwardly your son besides.

Simply seconds subsequently he leaves the room, endmost the door as quietly as possible and post-obit later on you.

"Tin y'all keep it downward? you well-nigh woke him." he points out, his tone accusatory as if you didn't fucking know.

And information technology simply makes you seethe because the final affair you need is him throwing information technology in your face.

"Of class, I'thou always the bad parent." you snap, a single tear rolling down your face up. And you know you sound petty, but you lot couldn't care less.

"Don't fucking put words in my mouth, y/n. Jesus christ." he says exasperatedly, scoffing as he turns abroad from you, putting his easily on his hips.

"I-i don't want this anymore. It's over betwixt us." y'all cry, no longer holding back the tears.

Taehyung falters.

It fucking hurts to say out loud, and you don't understand why information technology suddenly pains you to see Taehyungs solemn look.

You spotter his shoulders drib as he lets out a deep breath. "Is that what yous want?" he says, his voice much quieter, only tone still laced with annoyance.

You hesitate for just a second. "Yes." you lot state. It'due south what yous want. Of grade it is. "It's what you lot desire too, correct?" y'all add.

His expression somewhat softens. "N-no. Why would I want this, for Eunah and Minjun."

And that to you is a small-scale confirmation that the simply reason you were still in this relationship was because of the only thing tying yous together, your children. Why else would you take both put up with it until now? He no longer felt happy in this relationship. You could encounter that. No longer wanted to be with you either. The only reason you stayed together was for them.

But there was no signal anymore, not when it's starting to touch on them negatively.

"Because It's what's best for them." you lot reply flatly, sniffling.

He furrows his brows, his expression turning murderous. "How is that what's fucking best for them?" he yells.

"Oh so you desire them to grow up similar this? Surrounded by all t-this bullshit? Thinking this is what love is?" your optics broad as you enhance your brows questioningly. How could he not encounter information technology? Did he not sympathize information technology would just get worse? Did he not care for their feelings?

"Parents are supposed to dearest each other, Taehyung. And if they don't and then they shouldn't be together!" y'all're shaking. You know where this is going and y'all're non sure if you're ready. But you have no choice.

Taehyung merely scoffs, shaking his head in atheism.

"If y'all didn't start shit every time I get domicile maybe-"

"Allow me remind you that you where the one that got here at about 1 in the morning! Cartel I say a give-and-take nigh that."

"What don't you sympathize almost me being busy. Do you accept any idea how much fucking work I exercise?" he snaps, loud and ambitious.

It was pointless. There was no way. You would always go dorsum to square 1. Why was he even irresolute the discipline?

"You know what, I'm fucking leaving." you say, turning around and storming into the kitchen.

Yous weren't going to put up with this, you simply couldn't. It was only going to get worse if you didn't cease it right now. And you simply tin can't handle information technology.

Your ears are ringing and you feel like you lot could faint, then y'all lean on the kitchen counter for support. Closing your optics for a brief second earlier you look around for your pocketbook. You swore you left information technology here somewhere.

You hear Taehyung's voice as he follows right backside you lot.

"W-what? Where are you lot going?" He looks taken aback by your sudden actions. A puzzled frown on his face as he watches you lot search for your things.

"I'chiliad taking Eunah and Minjun to my mom's," y'all say, finally finding your handbag and heading towards the corridor. Perhaps yous're being irrational. Merely y'all can't think direct right now. You just need to get away from Taehyung, his presence is enough to make your head throb.

"No yous're not. Are y'all insane? Y'all're not taking them anywhere, not now." He says, almost out of breath, looking slightly panicked.

"Why tin can't you face it Taehyung?" you turn to face him, tears at present running downwardly your face up, burning your cheeks.

"I'g not happy! I haven't been fucking happy for months."

Taehyung seems frozen in his spot. There's no longer whatever harshness to his features. His face up almost expressionless merely y'all can't help only notice he somehow looks somewhat abashed.

"Eunah and Minjun don't deserve this," y'all manage to get out. You're full on sobbing now, no longer caring Taehyung is right in front of y'all, "They shouldn't have to watch their parents fight similar this-" and yous have to stop to compose yourself. You can barely get the words out with how choked upwardly y'all are.

"I'll leave." he says, so quietly yous almost miss information technology. Not giving yous fourth dimension to continue as he turns away from you.

You open your mouth to speak but close it immediately when you notice you can't class any words.

You stand up still, blinking your blurry eyes profusely as you watch him collect his car keys and wallet from the kitchen counter. He does it slowly, nigh like he'south giving it a second thought.

Suddenly, yous feel panicked. It's similar a flip switches in your head and you lot go the sudden urge to tell him not to go out, to stay. Where would he even go? When is he coming back? Will he exist coming back? But…did you even desire him to?

Without even a glance back in your management, he grabs his coat, puts on his shoes and leaves.

The door slams shut and he's gone.

✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.☆.*｡･ﾟ✫*. * .✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.☆.*｡･ﾟ✫*.* .✫*

a/due north: It's hither! (took me long enough I know) this is the very start thing I've written in a long fourth dimension then I am extremely rusty. anyway, this affiliate was mostly a bit of backstory and whatnot so next capacity will hopefully exist better, I promise. I hope you enjoy information technology! 🤧👀

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Source: https://kookiestarlight.tumblr.com/post/629394265129336832/begin-again-01-kth

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